#stygius textpost

[stygiusfic]

early morning writing hack (real) (it's been working for about a month now):

think about the scene you're going to work on that morning not when you sit down to write, but the previous evening. this is daydreaming but with purpose. think about what might happen and how the characters feel about it. get excited. don't write a single word.

go about your evening normally, doing whatever else you do. your subconscious is a slow cooker and while you do other stuff, it's working on your idea for you.

get up early, like an hour before you'd need to start your day if you were cutting it close. everyone else in the world is snoozing their alarm, so no one can bother you rn. you're free! no one can judge your writing, not even you!

(optional i guess but it really helps me) unless the first few words of your scene are already clear in your mind, warm up. I've abandoned the idea of warm-up drabbles or whatever the hell people recommend. instead, I pull up a story by someone whose writing I love, and I type out a fragment of it in a blank doc, reading the words out loud as I go. this wakes up my writing brain as I become aware of how their prose and dialogue work their magic, when and where they reveal new information, how each detail leads to the next. I'd advise doing this with work that is of high quality and purposeful, so you can learn their tricks, but I'm not the boss of you.

write!!!!!!!

don't stop to judge if it's good or not!! it's too early for that shit!! if the draft sucks you can fix it later but you need the draft done first!!

do stop once yesterday evening's daydreaming prep has run out and you're out of steam. (sometimes the momentum can reveal the next part of the story you hadn't actively considered yet, but don't depend on it.) if you hit a wall where you have no idea how to continue, or it's still too vague to put words down, trying to push through will only bring frustration. and even if you do manage to write a bit more, the chances you'll end up scrapping it later because it doesn't fit are significant. just call it there, you're done.

take a minute to appreciate what you accomplished. you now have words you didn't have yesterday. you won the day, and meanwhile everyone else is still asleep, the absolute losers

if you use a word tracker, go ahead and input your word count for the day. maybe you got a lot done, or maybe you didn't; it's a victory either way. on mornings when I've been struggling, writing and then erasing and writing again, if I'm too pissed off to check the word count I just put down a symbolic number, like 50 words. it may not look like much, but when I look at the month's stats it feels good to have proof that I showed up and did the thing even when it was hard.

now you can start your day. and frankly at this point I don't give a shit how annoying my day is, because I already did the thing I care about getting done, so I'm not going through work resenting every task for stealing brain juice I could've used for writing in the evening. "I'll write when I'm done with work" is the ADHD hubris devil speaking.

and now it's the evening and you're free to daydream again!! and use absolutely zero brain power!! wheee!!

[stygiusfic]

hijacking this beautiful post, which is full of good insights, to add my perspective as a serial befriender:

✨️how to make fandom friends 101✨️

First, an important distinction that rook also made, because I feel it's worth repeating: a "fandom friend" isn't necessarily someone who will read/look at all your work/follow you through fandoms, nor should they have to be. They'll most often be people who happen to like the same characters or media, that you enjoy talking to and become close with (hopefully beyond that initial common interest). They can (and likely will!) encourage you to create whatever you like, but don't get sucked into the idea that their support is incomplete unless they read all your stuff.

Think of it this way: if you were an aspiring chef, and had friends who like food, you wouldn't (or shouldn't) consider their support of your dreams less real if they don't try every single dish you make. This is the same principle.

It's natural to want your friends to like the stuff you make. We all want that, and we're happy when it happens. But it's not something you can force or expect. (And besides, your friends' enthusiasm is a lot more rewarding when they don't feel obligated to give it.)

OKAY, NOW WE GET INTO THE MEAT OF IT.

This is, in broad strokes, how I've made about 90% of the many close (and not-so-close, and intermittently-close) fandom friends I've had over the past decade and a half.

Look for people in your fandom whose work you like (whether that's art, fic, meta, gifsets on tumblr, whatever) or who you think would be interesting to talk to. Maybe they like the same things you like, or you like their vibe, etc.

Tell those people that you like their work. Talk to them. The person who sent that ask was very brave in doing so and very kind about it, and I think that's a good attitude to have. The truth is you can't be friends with someone who doesn't know you're around. At this stage, think of yourself as someone who sees a stranger wearing a cool hat and says, "hey, I love your hat!". The person you're complimenting likely won't become your friend on the spot, but you've probably made their day a bit brighter, and they'll probably remember you for that. Isn't that nice?

Caveat: the compliment on their hat/fic/art is not a down payment to buy their friendship. The goal is simply to gift them a bit of joy in the midst of whatever else they have going on. (That is also, ultimately, the point of all friendships, as well as the point of fandom.)

Showing up often helps; repetition is key. This is why it's famously easier to make friends in school than out in the world: school gives you a place where you'll be meeting the same other people regularly, and you have something already in common with them that becomes a basis for friendship. Fandom also gives you a common link, so you just need to complete that by being around often. A lot of my fandom friends started out being people I admired whose work I engaged with often, because I loved seeing it and wanted to let them know.

Discord servers are great for making fandom friends, btw: even if you're not there 24/7, if you take part in conversations here and there, and you're not a complete jerk, often people will become fond of you over time, just by virtue of familiarity. That may be a jumping-off point for one-on-one conversations and friendships.

An optional step that I enjoy: like a cat that brings you a dead mouse as a show of affection, I like to make fanworks for people I consider cool. I'm a writer, so if I see fanart that sparks my imagination, I will sometimes write a little fic based on that and send a link to the artist. I don't expect them to read it or like it, though I'll be happy if they do. My intention is, again, to let them know their work has moved me; it's a more convoluted version of the "nice hat!" compliment.

And finally, an important caveat: sometimes an attempt at friendship won't pan out, and that's ok. Maybe you want to be someone's friend, but they don't want to be closer than casual fandom acquaintances. Or maybe you start talking to someone you admire, and then realize, "actually, I really like their work, but I don't enjoy talking to them very much". That's fine! It happens! Conversely, you'll also meet people you love talking to, but their work is not your cup of tea at all; in which case you can still be friends and encourage each other even if you're not engaging with the work.

TL;DR:

Talk to people you want to befriend. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Show interest in them, as creators and as people. If you hit it off, congratulations! You've made a friend! If not, respect their boundaries and don't push! Move on!✨️ There are other friends waiting for you ✨️

hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!

hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖

re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.

in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.

re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!

with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol

[stygius-cr-sideblog]

catching up with c3 and it is a delight to watch Ashley's face all through the Imogen and Laudna conversation at the end of episode 49. she's trying so hard to be cool but keeps looking between them like table tennis.

[stygiusfic]

latest ADHD patch: quality of life updates

Adjusted sleeping hours to an earlier schedule. Turns out the "woohooo I am untouchable and free and I can do anything now the world is asleep!" high that staying up late gave me can also be obtained at 7AM. And early mornings have the added benefit of being brainable, so I can spend some time on hobbies before work.

Eliminated ambitious goals after sundown. Writing after work? Forget about it. It's not happening, we're out of brain juice by then. (Writing in the morning before work does happen, though!) If the sun has gone down, give up the lofty ambitions and just play a game or do something hands-on that lets the brain be mostly off.

Adjusted diet. Been slowly getting into cooking (great evening activity) and the increase in my energy levels when I eat food that tastes good and interesting is so tangible it's insane. And there's a surprising number of uncomplicated and cheap recipes that achieve this.

Implemented a walking routine to fix a recurring bug (wiggles). I was already working out regularly because picking up heavy things is a drug, but have noticed the classic ADHD restlessness can often be cured with a walk or some physical activity to burn it off. Fresh air helps too.

Eliminated phone use (preferably no screens) for at least one or two hours before sleep. When I started doing this I was like "but what about my nighttime fanfic binges?" but I gained something better in exchange: the freedom of being unreachable for a few hours. I usually read a physical book and/or spend time with my pet. And I sleep better, too.

Increased levels of kindness toward the user. This is the big one. If I fall off the horse or have an off day when I'm unable to manage all this, I try to be kind and forgive myself. All is not lost. Tomorrow I try again.

[stygiusfic]

just got two comments on two separate fics that are respectively 13 and 15 years old, and I want to give this person a hug through the screen 🥺

[stygiusfic]

re-read pride & prejudice and I have to say: that first proposal scene is unparalleled. they're fighting and insulting each other and it reads like they're making out sloppy style

[stygiusfic]

saw Nosferatu the other day (delightfully gross movie btw) and the one thing i can't stop thinking about is how good and self-aware it is when it comes to pacing

obviously this is a movie that won't let you slouch in your seat. the protagonists are constantly Going Thru It. tensions are high. but the movie is really good at releasing tension without sacrificing tone!

i keep thinking of this one cut that's like

Ellen: My heart is lost without my Thomas!

CUT to Thomas face-down and passed out on a stone floor in Nosferatu's castle.

at least half the theater laughed at that cut! it was a very darkly-humorous "well then, girl, you may be fucked" laugh, but that was enough to make everyone relax a little before the scene that followed (which was very intense)

it just felt so masterful to see. horror always runs the risk of turning out flat if you keep raising the tension but never release it, and they managed it so subtly and skillfully. kissing that cut transition on the mouth!!

[stygiusfic]

dear ao3 reader who left me a lovely comment on my latest custom durge/shadowheart fic that contained the assumption it was default durge instead, and then deleted the comment:

I'm not upset! if you didn't realize (because I don't describe him a lot in the fic) and assumed it was the dragonborn durge, that doesn't take away from how nice your comment was! I'm happy you enjoyed the fic anyway! and I was delighted to get such a heartfelt comment on my birthday!!

[stygiusfic]

spent the last hour hiding from work tasks to look through the goblin emperor tag on tumblr. the queue is ready and if i convince even one more person to read this book i will be happy

[stygiusfic]

I had immense fun creating a custom durge who feels no remorse about violence and doesn't think killing "evil" enemies is any more honorable than shanking someone in an alley. sorry, companions, but alfira wasn't special. everyone dies eventually and it could've been the plague killing all those people instead, and you wouldn't blame the plague for being the plague so what's he got to blame himself for.

however (also fun but tricky) when you remove all self-flagellating angst potential from the durge, or any character, when you make someone utterly at peace with the fucked-up creature they are, you then have to get creative about what inner conflict means for them if you're in their pov. which is a bigger challenge than i realized but i'm learning so much and i love this

in short: there is no freedom like the freedom of writing my little guy that only like 3 people care about. it is good to be alive!!!!

[stygiusfic]

this just in: if you work on one project at a time, instead of jumping from wip to wip, you actually eventually finish it!!!!

18k of self-indulgent fanfic!!!! it feels good to be alive!!!!

[stygiusfic]

if your morning writing session is cut short, because you have a hair appointment, you can daydream about your story while they cut your hair. but watch out!! you might get emotional about it and tear up and have to make up some excuse about allergies!!

[stygiusfic]

at this point, fuck it. i might as well make a neocities website.

[stygiusfic]

this realization just in, after 20 years: there is a direct link between feeling like your writing sucks and not having finished anything in a while

[stygiusfic]

you know what would be fun? if bg3 companion approval worked on a friendship/rivalry spectrum like in dragon age 2

because when a companion leaves the party, they know they're essentially giving up the artifact's protection and dooming their free will (if not their body and life) forever. you have to make them mad to the point that taking their chances seems better than putting up with you

and I still think those moments are cool! I want them to stay! it's impactful to lose wyll and karlach if you side with the goblins, etc.

but for the everyday disagreements that don't run quite so deep, it would be interesting to see a rivalry meter, to lean fully into "I don't see things your way and frankly I hate your guts most days, but we are bound by this experience nobody else understands, and we can only survive if we stay together"

and with every new offense they ask themselves: is this the straw that breaks the camel's back? are we done? is it time to walk away?

I'm not posting this wishing Larian had implemented this, tbh. the scope of this game is already insane enough.

but I do like to imagine how low approval could be its own kind of understanding, a relationship that explores the ways you push each other's buttons in a situation you can't easily walk away from. the things you learn to live with, and what it says about you. and specifically for the dark urge, less of the naive handwaving away of their impulses and more: am I really safer with this person than I am on my own?

[stygiusfic]

the great gift of my piss-poor adhd memory is that when I start feeling like my writing is dull and uninteresting and uninspired, I can open a fic and read lines I forgot I wrote and realize damn this is fire actually